Decisions in life
Posted by kissiaojoy
on
1:19 AM
Full time.
Oh yes. I got a full time job. So what?
I just feel that this isnt what I want. It's not that I am really unhappy with it (at least not just yet), but that was what my mum wished me to do.
Yes. Online Producer, the name sounds nice isnt it? But not the job scope. At least I dont find it nice, but should be still within what I could manage.
There's just too much uncertainty. I dont know what I want. I dont know what to do next.
I studied all the best that I could for 10 years and then I found a course that I am really interested in. I started a total different life for 3 years. I might not have enjoyed the course throughout but at least I am enjoying what I am doing. Now, I am lost all over again. Not knowing where my area of focus is at.
I might be interested in Events Planning, but that is something not really taught to me. I have no confidence at all in venturing into this new field. I thought I need to study more. Then I am unsure if this is the right path for me. Life is about trial and error, we cant fear to make mistakes. But I cant make myself to take the first step.
So, I've decided to give myself a break. A long study break. Just to make up my mind on what I want. No doubt I cant just sit at home during this period of time, waiting for money to drop from the sky. At least financially, my family doesnt allow me to do so. I need to earn and help feed the family.
Thus I started out to look for a job. Looking for suitable working hours, suitable job scope. Take it as I am too picky. I could not find something that I want. Or rather, I REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT I WANT.
I was like being forced to get a job to help the family's financial burden. I could not get what I want, but I need a job. That was bad enough. And when I finally got a job, i got nagged that this isnt gonna take me anywhere. Yes, I know I could not apply what I've learnt in a receptionist job but at least I am experienced in that and I am comfortable with it.
It's like I've been pressured to get a full time job. Just for the fucking sake of your CPF and family, get a proper job. One that can apply whatever that you have learnt. Have you ever asked me what I want? Have you ever asked me if I have any troubles getting what I want?
The entire world just revolves around money. nothing but money. So now I've got a proper job. I start to earn. But this doesnt mean that I like what I am doing. I guess I dont have a choice does it?
Oh yes. I got a full time job. So what?
I just feel that this isnt what I want. It's not that I am really unhappy with it (at least not just yet), but that was what my mum wished me to do.
Yes. Online Producer, the name sounds nice isnt it? But not the job scope. At least I dont find it nice, but should be still within what I could manage.
There's just too much uncertainty. I dont know what I want. I dont know what to do next.
I studied all the best that I could for 10 years and then I found a course that I am really interested in. I started a total different life for 3 years. I might not have enjoyed the course throughout but at least I am enjoying what I am doing. Now, I am lost all over again. Not knowing where my area of focus is at.
I might be interested in Events Planning, but that is something not really taught to me. I have no confidence at all in venturing into this new field. I thought I need to study more. Then I am unsure if this is the right path for me. Life is about trial and error, we cant fear to make mistakes. But I cant make myself to take the first step.
So, I've decided to give myself a break. A long study break. Just to make up my mind on what I want. No doubt I cant just sit at home during this period of time, waiting for money to drop from the sky. At least financially, my family doesnt allow me to do so. I need to earn and help feed the family.
Thus I started out to look for a job. Looking for suitable working hours, suitable job scope. Take it as I am too picky. I could not find something that I want. Or rather, I REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT I WANT.
I was like being forced to get a job to help the family's financial burden. I could not get what I want, but I need a job. That was bad enough. And when I finally got a job, i got nagged that this isnt gonna take me anywhere. Yes, I know I could not apply what I've learnt in a receptionist job but at least I am experienced in that and I am comfortable with it.
It's like I've been pressured to get a full time job. Just for the fucking sake of your CPF and family, get a proper job. One that can apply whatever that you have learnt. Have you ever asked me what I want? Have you ever asked me if I have any troubles getting what I want?
The entire world just revolves around money. nothing but money. So now I've got a proper job. I start to earn. But this doesnt mean that I like what I am doing. I guess I dont have a choice does it?